What Does A Full Divorce Recovery Look Like?

Divorce recovery describes the all-encompassing process of emotional, mental and physical healing. It is a constant roller coaster of emotions in which you are broken down and built back up numerous times until finally, you are whole again. Divorce recovery is painful, yes, but it is also a gift. Your divorce happens FOR you, not TO you. It may be hard to see most days, but there is a reserve of untapped wisdom and potential lying trapped behind the pain and fear of the unknown. You have an opportunity right now to push through and find your own pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. Divorce is not what you signed up for when you got married and there isn’t one way to move through what you are feeling. It takes time and there is a recovery process. The word recovery means the action or purpose of regaining possession or control of something lost. It is about embracing how your life and experiences have created the person staring back at you in the mirror and how you will create your next, best life. And that begins with a vision of what you want, whom you are and where you want to go. Living with the determination and willingness to work emotionally, mentally and physically to achieve your vision of life after divorce. In order to take the first step to get there, you must lean into the hurt you are experiencing because it is the only way through it. I know you want to lean away, hide under a rock (or your sheets) and disappear until it’s over. That is not the solution. Instead, be mindful and show yourself compassion as you work through the depths of your emotions which will help you heal more quickly than if you ignore or become impatient with yourself. This means acknowledging the emotions that arise without judgment and trusting they will diminish. So many times we are afraid we will sink further into the depths of despair when in truth, not allowing yourself to feel it all is what is more damaging. I recommend setting a timer for a reasonable amount of time to feel all your feels and once it goes off, you agree to move through. We do not take a divorce class before we get married nor does anyone get married thinking they will get divorced. Therefore, divorce = change. The longer you fight the necessary changes, the longer you will stay stuck. This doesn’t mean that you pretend to be fine or roll over in your divorce negotiations. It means asking for help as you embrace the unknown. See change see as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean to create a vision you choose. Is it easy? No, it isn’t. Divorce recovery is a process. It is like a muscle you exercise every day. Some days you work harder, others feel really tough. You get to figure out what makes you truly happy and what you want life to look like now – without having the ask permission. Taking small steps every day will help lighten the load and make the future seem brighter.

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