Overcoming the fear of divorce

Life is created by our decisions or indecisions. It took me a very long time to accept this reality. See, over five years ago, I was in an unhealthy relationship, and in all honesty, I had been thinking of leaving the relationship for the last two years. Every time I took a step towards it, fear held me back. Fear of the unknown Fear how it will impact my children Fear of the financial impact it will have There were many questions, and I didn’t feel I had the answers. That unknown feeling kept me in an unhealthy relationship that didn’t serve me. All of this continued till staying was more painful than leaving and stepping into the unknown. Divorce was around the corner, and separation was happening. Even though I choose to step up for myself and step out of the relationship, I never wanted it to happen. No one gets married thinking that they will leave their relationship at one point in their life. Yet, this became my reality. The conversations we have in our heads are often fear-based and keep us doubting ourselves. I was no different; I doubted my abilities and didn’t feel happy for a long time. I knew something needed to change as I was done feeling like a victim or talking myself down. Then, I discovered the power of asking better questions. I found my freedom through questions that led me to shift my energy and create a beautiful life. I will share my key questions with you, and I invite you to take the time to answer them with grace for yourself.

Reflect:

 Which fear is holding me back?

 What am I saying to myself regularly?

 Is it true?

Reset:

 What is my current belief?

 Which new belief do I want to take on?

Reclaim:

 When fear is prominent in my life, I choose to…. The last question might be the trickiest one. I had to think about what I will do when fear shows up again. Writing this down and then going on with your life will not give you the freedom of fear that you are seeking. It takes reminding yourself every day and in the heat of the moment to shift your behavior. That is why I created post-it notes for the fridge, computer, and bedroom! I reminded myself multiple times a day to choose a new way of thinking. Then one sweet day, I didn’t need those reminders as it became a part of me. I had successfully shifted my fear by acknowledging it and then choosing to act differently.

When I answered these questions, I realized that I was making new decisions that were actually serving my life. Now, I was in control, and more importantly, I took actions that helped me create my happiness. Happiness is inner work, and when you do the inner work, your life will shift in a new direction.

Matina Singh

Break-up / Divorce Coach | Master Self Image www.matinasingh.com connect@matinasingh.com www.facebook.com/coachmatina www.facebook.com/groups/divorceempowerment www.instagram.com/singhmatina Clubhouse: @matinasingh