You Can’t Control Everything: The Truth About Co-Parenting

by | Sep 8, 2025 | Podcast

What if the very thing you’re clinging to in co-parenting, the need for control, is what’s keeping you from peace?

In this episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack unpacks why control in co-parenting is an illusion, how expectations create unnecessary heartache, and what true surrender looks like for divorced parents. Listeners will learn how to shift from frustration to freedom and create a calmer, more resilient environment for their children.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why co-parents crave control after divorce and how it impacts anxiety

  • The difference between healthy influence and harmful attempts to control

  • How to respond when your ex behaves in ways you can’t change

  • Tools for modeling resilience and stability for your children

  • A practical exercise to release control and focus on what really matters

Episode Highlights:

  • 00:00 – Why control feels like the only safety net after divorce
  • 02:05 – The truth: you can’t control your ex, your child’s emotions, or transitions
  • 05:15 – How expectations create self-fulfilling frustration
  • 08:40 – What letting go really looks like in day-to-day co-parenting
  • 11:25 – Surrender as freedom: shifting energy into peace, healing, and presence
  • 13:30 – Final reflection: modeling resilience for your children

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned:

  • The “Expectation Audit” Exercise – writing down one thing you can’t control in co-parenting, and one thing you can control.

  • Modeling Resilience Framework – showing kids strength and calm through action rather than reacting to negativity.

Closing Insight:

“Your power as a parent doesn’t come from controlling every variable; it comes from modeling grace, resilience, and love.”

Letting go of control isn’t giving up, it’s reclaiming peace. Take a deep breath, release what isn’t yours to manage, and focus on what truly matters: showing up for your children with stability and love.

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: http://stan.store/themichelledempsey/p/book-a-11-zoom-with-me-wt46q75a

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website – https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep263-letting-go-of-control-in-co-parenting

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