Summarized Transcript Moms Moving On Podcast

Introduction – From Public Divorce to Personal Empowerment

HOST (Michelle Dempsey-Multack):
Welcome back to Moms Moving On. Today I’m joined by my good friend and Moving On Method® certified coach, Caitlin Nugent. Caitlin has lived through one of the most public divorces imaginable and has turned her pain into purpose. From betrayal and infidelity to co-parenting challenges and now thriving in a blended family, Caitlin’s story is both raw and inspiring.

Who Is Caitlin Nugent and What Is Her Story?

GUEST (Caitlin Nugent):

Divorced mom of three (two children with her ex-husband, one baby boy with her new life partner).
Formerly married to a public figure at Barstool Sports, which made her divorce highly publicized.
Blindsided by infidelity while pregnant with her second child.
Now a certified divorce coach helping women navigate infidelity, co-parenting with high-conflict exes, and blended families.

QUOTE: “I went through a pretty public divorce, and with internet trolls and headlines involved, I had to focus fast on protecting my kids.”

How Did Caitlin Discover Infidelity?

HOST: Can you share how you found out?

GUEST (Caitlin):

During a New York snowstorm, she discovered love messages on her ex-husband’s Twitter account.
The initial denial and gaslighting quickly gave way to the truth: a nine-month affair with a younger fan.
The betrayal came while she was postpartum and caring for two small children.

Key Insight: Infidelity often occurs during pregnancy or early motherhood, when women are most vulnerable and men seek external validation.

QUOTE: “My world completely crumbled while my babies slept in the next room.”

Why Caitlin Made Her Divorce Public

GUEST:

Shared her story publicly on Instagram, despite backlash, because she wanted truth and accountability.
Coverage reached Page Six and even drew comments from Barstool founder Dave Portnoy, who validated her experience.
Though controversial, speaking out helped Caitlin find clarity, community, and the strength to move forward.

The Search for Closure and the Reality of Co-Parenting

Caitlin initially hoped for an apology or acknowledgment that never fully came.
She learned that closure must come from within, not from the ex.
Emphasized that waiting for an apology is wasted time; true peace comes from self-care and focusing on the children.

QUOTE: “Closure isn’t something your ex gives you. It’s something you build for yourself.”

Setting Boundaries in a Parenting Plan

GUEST (Caitlin):

Advocated for clear parenting plan language around introducing new partners.
Insisted children only meet significant others after a set amount of time.
Prioritized stability for her kids during a period when her ex’s public profile and dating life were under scrutiny.

HOST (Michelle):
Reinforced that parenting plans should be individualized, what worked for Caitlin may not work for every family, but clarity and foresight are critical.

Caitlin’s Coaching Philosophy

Not every case of infidelity has to end in divorce, some marriages recover and grow stronger.
Her role as a coach is not to decide outcomes, but to help clients:
- Prioritize self-care and mental health.
- Communicate effectively with high-conflict exes.
- Build actionable parenting plans.
- Take small, manageable steps when life feels overwhelming.

QUOTE: “Sometimes the first step is just getting through the day until bedtime. That’s okay.”

Closing Insights

GUEST (Caitlin):

To anyone freshly blindsided by infidelity: “It is going to be okay. An affair is not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of the other person.”
Encourages women to find strength in community, coaching, and their own resilience.

HOST (Michelle):
Highlights Caitlin’s grace, strength, and ability to help others transform one of life’s most painful moments into an opportunity for growth.

Memorable Quotes

“My world completely crumbled while my babies slept in the next room.”
“Closure isn’t something your ex gives you, it’s something you build for yourself.”
“Sometimes the first step is just getting through the day until bedtime.”
“It is going to be okay. Infidelity is not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of the other person.”

Raw Transcript:

Welcome back to another episode of Moms Moving On. I’m so happy to have you with me today because I also have a good friend and actually one of our Moving On Method certified coaches. She’s got such a powerful story.

Her name is Caitlin Nugent and she came into my stratosphere probably about five years ago at this point when she was at the very beginning of… Oof, well, I’ll let her tell her story. Caitlin, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me.

Hi, Michelle. How are you? Hi, I’m good. Better now.

So, hi everyone. I’m Caitlin. I am a divorced mom of three.

I have two children with my ex-husband and then I have one baby boy. He is one years old with my new life partner. So yeah, since I have met Michelle, things have… I have been on quite the rollercoaster of a divorce journey.

You have, but important to point out where you started and we’ll get into all that and the fact that you just had a beautiful baby boy with your new life partner and things have totally come full circle for you. Yes, they have. I’m so grateful.

And first of all, thank you for having me today. I’m so honored to be on your podcast. Oh my God, it’s a pleasure.

For everyone that doesn’t know, Michelle has been the light in my life since I first came across her, what’s that, 2019 now probably? 2019, yeah. Which is crazy. Damn, we old.

We old, yeah. We out here. But you know what? We’re making the most of it.

Our age and our wisdom and we are like spreading the good word. But, and I’m flattered when I hear that I have been such a light in your life because I think about what you went through and I’m like, holy shit, I don’t know that I could have handled it with the same grace and class that you did. Thank you, thank you.

Yeah, for those that don’t know, I went through a pretty- Yeah, let’s spill it. Pretty public divorce. I was married to a man that worked for, well, he still does, works for Barstool Sports.

And there was- For those of you who don’t know- Infidelity. Yeah, go ahead. Well, I gotta, I gotta, well, now you said infidelity.

We gotta get right into that. But Barstool is an online account, an online platform directed towards men, a little seedy, can get a little raunchy. And these are young guys, good-looking guys who made a lot of money fast.

And then one of them had the fucking nerve to cheat on my beautiful friend, Caitlin. He did, yeah, he did. But I will say, prior to that, I had, we had a really good life together.

And we still were working on co-parenting, which is why really I joined Michelle’s network of coaches, because I quickly realized after this life shock of an affair that I needed to figure shit out so we could all get on the same page for our kids and that they became the focus for me. Obviously, I was doing a lot of my own self-care and trying to figure out what went wrong and how to avoid something like this from happening and from trickling down to my kids also because of the, there was the public aspect of it that we had, you know, we were all, we were on page six. We had internet trolls coming after both of us.

Everyone had an opinion on it. So it very, to me, it very quickly became a, okay, we need to figure out how to make this as good as possible on the kids. So- Right, which is, you know, like you said, you were blindsided and shocked by the affair, but your first thought was let’s protect the kids.

And that’s amazing. I mean, I had two babies at the time. I had my girl, my old, she’s now almost nine, but she was two at the time and I had a four-month-old boy.

So the affair was going on while I was pregnant with our second child. So in my head, we were really like this new young family building our life together. Of course, there are ups and downs that come along with having two young kids so quickly after marriage, but I wasn’t on the, well, is there someone else part of this marriage that I don’t know about? So this was a huge shock to me when it came down.

You know, I’m sure so many women listening are like, yep, because the truth is a lot of women who experience being cheated on, this infidelity happens in this pregnancy stage or when the children are very young. And it’s like double whammy for you. Not only are you pregnant or trying to raise young children you’re now like your marriage went sideways and it’s probably the heaviest thing you can go through as a new mom or expectant mom.

So how did you, I mean, can we get into the dirty details? Like how did you discover this? Oh my gosh, I will never, ever forget this night. And it’s funny because all of like the barstool stoolies that had followed along our journey, our story also remember this night. It was the bomb cyclone in New York.

It was a huge snowstorm that came out of nowhere. It was like, it was January. Shit storm in the sky, shit storm in your life.

It was literally, yeah, it was, you could write the story. It was like, you know, this huge massive snowstorm that came sort of out of the blue. It was the first week of January, 2016.

I will never, ever forget it. 2017, sorry, getting my dates wrong. And we were sitting down, we had just gotten the kids to sleep and Kevin had called his mother and said goodnight to her, checked in on her.

He was, he’s still to this day very, very close with his mom. So he had kind of, we had checked in on our family members and then he went outside to shovel and he came back in the house and was frantic, panicking that he lost his phone. But like a weird, a panic that was like, why are you so worried about this? Because we’ve already checked in on our people.

Like we’re all okay, the babies are sleeping. Like now it’s our time. Like we get to sit down on the couch and watch a movie.

And I just had this like, you know, like female intuition. I had this feeling, like something was off. He was in such a panic that he lost this phone.

I was like, it’s fine, we’ll go to Apple tomorrow. It’s not a big deal. We’re gonna be okay, we have my phone, whatever.

And then he brought out his computer and he started like typing a lot on his computer, which is normal for him because he was a blogger. He works for Barstool. So again, I’m like, what are we blogging about? There are no sports on tonight.

Like what’s going on? And he had used my phone before to like tweet. Like if we’re out, like he, you know, log into his Twitter from my phone and like, and tweet. He had to always be on in some respect.

So I went to bed. I was like, I have a feeling. And I snooped.

I went in the Twitter account and I was watching in real time the two of them go back and forth telling how much they love each other. I can’t wait to see you again. Like I was laying in bed, just my world like completely crumbling.

It was like that feeling of like, am I gonna throw up or cry or yell or throw something? I don’t know. All of these feelings. And then simultaneously, it’s like my family.

What do I do about my family? Like this thing I once believed so strongly in is now maybe not so real. Oh my God. Well, kudos to you, Caitlin, for not committing a felony.

I mean, I have freaked out way more for way less. And so that is that in itself. I mean, hire Caitlin because she’ll teach you how to not kill your cheating husband.

That’s wow. Okay. So your babies are sleeping in the next room.

You are discovering this. Was he next to you or he was in the other room? He was downstairs. So I watched it for a little, but it was like, I couldn’t, I had to confront him.

And I don’t know for anyone that’s ever experienced infidelity or someone cheating on them or something similar. The first stage is immediately denial. So when I went downstairs and I started asking him, like, who is this girl? What is going on? It was, he very quickly met me with, why are you snooping? What’s going on? Like he couldn’t admit it.

Why’d you catch me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It’s like all of a sudden, and this was years and years of me working through it, me working through it with him.

But a lot of it was like thrown back onto me. Like I did this because of you. And I felt like it was happening in that moment.

Like, well, you’re a snooper. You shouldn’t be going through my stuff. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who snoops.

I’m like, well, I wouldn’t be snooping if, you know, it was very much- The gaslighting, man. The gaslighting. Yeah, like, why don’t, yeah.

So it was just a long night. It was talking through it. It started out with like, it was just a one-time kiss.

She came to my show and then it unraveled into like, oh, actually this was like a nine-month relationship that they were just having on the side. So we- Did you know her? No. Okay.

She was, they met on Twitter. It was like a cliche. I think she was a fan of his.

And then that developed into something deeper. I remember asking him, because you ask all these questions, like everything’s running through your mind. Like she was younger too.

I’m like, what do you have in common with her? He’s like, we like the Knicks and Drake. I was like, what? What? I was like, does she know how to take the garbage out? Does she know how to do your laundry? Like, does she know how to change a dirty diaper? Like, what are you two, you two are going to go dance at a Knicks game? You guys, that is the recipe for a happy relationship. You have to like the same basketball team and the same singer.

That’s it. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay.

Also, I mean, we, us moms know, like I’m four months postpartum. Like I could barely like brush my hair at this point. And I’m like, if you want to go like dance at a Knicks game, like just go.

I can’t even try to match that at this stage of my life. Right. Like we’re just not, we’re on different pages.

And it speaks to, I mean, there are reasons why men cheat when women are in this pregnancy and postpartum stage. And it all boils down to, I need more attention. Nobody’s making me feel special.

And it is, you know, it’s a tale as old as time, but I’m so sorry you had to go through it. But I know, I mean, I remember when you told me, and at this time he was like out there talking shit, like bragging almost about what he had done and what situation he landed himself in. You were just so like, I don’t know, not above it, because I know it was hurting you, but you handled yourself with such grace.

Like where, is that just who you are as a person? Well, I will say I, I mean, I think everyone knows I did put him on blast. I put it on my Instagram account when it first happened. And this, everyone still to this day says, why did you do that? Why did you make this public? That’s not good for the kids.

I have so many reasons for why I did it. Was it the best move? I don’t know, but I also know that that, doing that is what got me to where I am today, because I was able to see his true reaction. Like I, had I not made it public, he may have tried to save the marriage, to save face.

I don’t know. But anyway, I did. I put it on blast.

I said, you know. What did you say? Oh my gosh. Well, so he had this, we had been together for almost 10 years at this point.

Like we, so all of his fans had watched us, you know, start dating and move in together and get married and have a kid, have kid number one, have kid number two. Like he referred to me as the roommate. I had my own like character within his life, his public persona.

He had a podcast called the Podfathers at the time, where he was talking about, you know, like being a dad in the burbs and what that was like. So he had like millennial dudes that were growing up with him and following him. So I felt like I, I was like, they need to know too, that this, this isn’t as real as it seems, you know.

It’s not as relatable on, if you’re listening to the Podfathers, you know that this guy is actually out like, you know, stepping out on his wife. So I felt like it was a lot of anger in the moment. So I did, I posted like, you know, one of those like, if I Z-list celeb posts of like, we’re going through a hard time, like respect my privacy.

Kevin and, you know, Kevin has been cheating on me. And it blew up. Like we had page six reporters in our yard.

We had people like going to like, after like, standing outside the barstool headquarters in the city. Dave Portnoy put out a video. Kevin- What did Dave say? Dave, Dave said like, I don’t know all the details.

Caitlin and Kevin’s dirty laundry’s out there, but I’m just going to say like, it doesn’t look good for Kevin. And I hope Caitlin and the kids are okay. And to this day, I respect Dave even more for that.

Like he’s, he was very level-headed about it. He was like, this just doesn’t look good. Like, yes, Kevin is my colleague and friend, but this is a pretty shitty scenario.

So let’s, let’s call it what it is. Well, I, you know, I got to say, I, at the time that you and I first started, I couldn’t stand Dave Portnoy. And I didn’t know who your husband was because I think Dave is more of like the front-facing guy to anyone who’s not fully immersed in the barstool world.

And I really couldn’t stand him. And there have been like times in these, in this last year, I’m like, wow, he’s actually human, good for him. So I love hearing this.

Good for you, Dave Portnoy. Yeah, no, I was, it was just nice validate. And again, like anyone who’s gone through, this is why I have really dedicated my coaching to helping people get through infidelity because anyone that’s going through it, you question your sense of reality.

I remember all of the time I was like, wait, was that real? Like, was he happy in the moment? Am I, am I really this bad? Am I, you go through all of these emotions. And I felt like having like a little bit of validation from the outside world of being like, you’re not crazy. Like this actually is a really terrible thing.

And it’s not the way that it should have been handled had he really been that unhappy in a marriage. It did, it did help. And I think that’s important because you tend, it’s weird because you’re, you’re so lonely.

Like it’s so quiet, like, but it’s also so loud because you have so many people chiming in and saying. It’s such a powerful thing, yeah. I mean, even friends and family, like, you know, drag him, get rid of him.

Like, he’s terrible. I’m like, this is a man that I, for better or for worse, we share two children and we need to figure this out. So you have so much outside noise, but you just feel so lonely on the inside.

So, but it was like having so many people rally around me and it was so helpful. I’m so glad you had that. And also, you know, you did the work right away, trying to find ways to better yourself so you could be a better parent.

You showed up for our workshops and did all of the things. But I’m wondering, was there ever a moment between you and your ex? Because I know a lot of people, a lot of women who feel wronged by their ex spouse feel like they need to reach this sense of closure or get some, they wait for some apology that may never come or they feel entitled to maybe more time with the kids or whatever it is. Did you ever get to a place with him where you felt like he acknowledged what he did enough for you to be able to move on fully or you didn’t need that? No, I searched, I felt like I needed that and I felt like I needed the closure and I, but we kept going up and down and this is normal too.

Like, should we save it? Should we go to couples counseling? No, this is never gonna, we can never come back from this. He did do the internet apology, but I didn’t feel like it was super real. Yeah, I’m like, who’s he doing that apology for? That wasn’t for you.

Yeah, right. So I think I searched for it. I got it in bits and pieces along the way.

Do I really fully think he ever sat down and said and owned it and said this wasn’t the right move? No, because there’s been like excuses of maybe I messed up, but like, we’re all in a better place now because of it. So whatever. So, which is true, but you always wish that you had some sort of closure.

I will say, I need to find the closure within myself. I wasn’t gonna get it from him. And this is the big part of the coaching process.

This is the biggest, I mean, if there’s anything more helpful in this episode, there won’t be because this is so important to recognize that like someone doing you wrong, the pain and the feeling does not go away by anything they can say to try and forgive themselves or try and get you to forgive them. But waiting for an apology or some sort of closure that’ll never come is such a waste of time. Such a waste of time.

And that comes into play through co-parenting in general. Like you can’t control what the co-parent is gonna do. So you need to figure out how you’re going to adapt and move on in spite of that.

You’re not gonna get the apology. You’re not always gonna get them to do what you want. Like it wasn’t happening in the marriage.

It’s certainly not gonna happen in high conflict divorce. So that was the piece for me once I finally realized I need to just figure this out on my own. I need to like put in the work for self-care.

I need to put in the work for the kids. And I felt, but prior to meeting you, there was a gap there. Like I felt like there was my lawyers and then there was my therapist, but there really wasn’t someone who was like, here’s how to do a parenting plan.

And here’s how to talk to your ex when he sends that nasty text. Like I felt like I overexceeded the amount that I could go to my friends and be like, can you believe he said this? It’s like, you can’t do that your entire life. Like you gotta figure it out on your own.

Right, and that’s exactly what a coach is. It’s really an intermediary. Like you’re not the therapist and you’re not the lawyer, but you are someone who can help in real time.

Like all of the other things, like a therapist, a good therapist is not gonna tell you what to do. Right. And a good coach won’t either, but a coach will help you recognize what steps you need to take when.

Exactly. So, okay, so now you’ve obviously come through this like a fricking champ. You should have your own like bar stool.

We could think of a good name for that. We’ll do that later. But how do you, I mean, I’m sure you hear from so many women who tell you stories that feel just like your own.

How are you able to, cause a big part of the coaching process is separating your own stuff from the person’s story in front of you. How do you do that? And like, what are your main goals in helping a client through dealing with infidelity? My main goal, first of all, the answer isn’t always divorce. It was in my particular case, but there are marriages that survive infidelity and they can make you stronger and kind of speed along fast forward things that may have been wrong in your marriage that you can address in real time.

I will say like, I wanna hear what their, what are their goals? What are their priorities? Is it self-care? Is it learning how to speak to your current husband that you might be separating from? Is it starting the legal process so I can help you like try to figure out what lawyers, the right lawyer for you? I mean, this is also embarrassing. When I first went through it, my parents had gotten divorced five years prior. So Kevin was around through like, they got divorced in my adulthood and my mom recommended a lawyer.

She was like, use my lawyer. I was like, oh, cool. The two for one special for the divorce lawyer.

Like, so there are just so many things that like need to happen when you’re in that like first initial stage of like, oh my gosh, I’m experiencing infidelity. Now what? And it’s like putting pen to paper, talking this through with them. Like, what are your priorities? Is it just getting out of bed and taking care of the kids and making sure you get from wake up to bedtime? Because we’ll start there.

Like, let’s start small. I remember that feeling of like, I would just count down until 7 p.m. when I could finally close my eyes in the beginning because it was just so, it felt so overwhelming. I remember that feeling too.

Yeah. And I don’t stay stuck on this feeling because I really hate like living in the past, but I always think about Bella was two when we separated and there were so much of that time as a solo parent where I was just like, make it go more quickly. Please make it go more quickly.

And looking back, I’m like, goddammit, I wish I could get that time back. Totally. I think of that all the time.

And now, especially, you know, we’re in much better places in our lives. It’s like I missed, I feel like I missed a few years, especially my little guy. Like he was four months old.

So I’m like, this poor baby, like, you know, back and forth between houses. But it’s, again, like we realized that and now we just cherish every moment even more. They’re still young.

We can focus on the now. So that’s all we’re trying to do. Kevin was with this fan that he loved.

Was she like seeing your kids when he was like taking them for his time? How was that working? No. Okay, good. How’d you prevent that? I actually put in the parenting plan.

Yeah. Well, no, they, without saying too much, they didn’t have, the relationship to me seemed like very high highs and very low lows. So when the lows were in place, it was a little bit scary.

I was like, I don’t know that I trust this individual around my kids. The kids are still very young. Like if this is a fun fling that’s happening on the side, great, but let’s not bring my kids into that.

And then we just were very purposeful in the parenting plan in saying, because the kids were young, but we were also only 32. So I remember my lawyer sitting down and saying like, you need to be realistic. You both will probably remarry.

You’re going to be dating other people. Like, let’s call it what it is. We need to cover ourselves.

So we were very purposeful in saying like the, you know, the kids can only meet someone if they’ve been in a relationship for X amount of months. And it was just really making sure we developed like very clear language around that. Cause I knew he was growing and his fame was increasing and he was getting a lot more interest from the ladies from the outside, especially, you know, as a single dad.

So I was like, mom alarm went off and I was like, we need to just button this up because I can’t just have them meeting like every girl that’s going to come into his life now. Yeah, that was wise. And I think, you know, in most moms always, will come to me and say, I want to put something in the parenting plan to specify that he can’t bring anyone around the children.

I don’t necessarily always agree with that in situations like these, obviously you already knew what you were dealing with. A lot of times people want to do this preemptively, even if the other person hasn’t met someone just out of this fear of the kids having to meet someone else. So please, if you’re listening, don’t take this as a what to do for your parenting plan.

Everything is so different based on your own personal situation. And I will say, it was just an ask of mine and he agreed to it. So I think even he knew deep down that this relationship wasn’t going to be one that he wanted around the children.

Had he said no and said, this is the love of my life, it would have been a different story. This was just very specific to our case. Because right now we’re both in other relationships, very happy, and the kids are back and forth between the two houses and have met both sides of the other partner’s relationships.

So it would have never been a case where I said, absolutely not, no other women around my kids at that age. Right, right. Okay, well, I mean, listen, I have applauded you offline for years.

I have watched you and rooted for you as well. Just seeing your passion and helping people through this, this truly is one of the worst times in a person’s life is when they are not only blindsided, but there is another person and the babies are young and the person you’re kissing goodnight has a whole nother life. I really, I can’t think of anything worse.

And so the fact that you are putting yourself out there to help people with the passion that you’re doing, it makes me so proud of you and so grateful for like the universe of women out there who get to experience help on such a calm and sophisticated mindset like that, because that’s really what you bring. So for anyone who’s listening, who literally just had this same bomb dropped on them, what would you tell them? I’m gonna say something that I always like rolled my eyes at when I would hear it, it is going to be okay. And I know that sounds so simple, but you have it in you and you have the resources and you have a community that can help you get through this.

Also, and this took me a long time to realize, infidelity and an affair is not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of the other person. So yeah, do not, whatever you’re feeling, whatever your self-critical thoughts are going through your head, stop them. They’re natural, of course, but this is not what, this outcome is not because of you, it is just, I’m so sorry it’s happening to you, but I promise you it’s gonna, you’ll get to the other side of it.

Right, it’s not you, it’s him, baby girl, that’s true. Okay, that’s great. So where can people find you if they wanna work with you? Because I know people are probably already Googling your name.

Oh yeah, my Instagram handle is dignityanddivorce. So come find me on the IG and my Gmail too, dignityanddivorce at gmail.com. Here to help infidelity, co-parenting with a high conflict ex, and also blended families. So the spectrum ranges, so.

Yeah, yeah, and that’s definitely another conversation I think we need to have because not only do you have, you have a blended family, but you had to blend while also dealing with this person in the background, which I know was not easy. So I guess we’ll have to have a part two, everyone. Yes, I would love to.

Awesome, Caitlin, thank you so much for being here. And for anybody listening, I want you to think about in your worst moments with this person, that mindset that Caitlin talked about of just like making sure the kids are okay. Because truthfully as adults, even when we’re at our most hurt and vulnerable, we can get through it and move on.

The kids need a little extra help. So think of her, reach out, do all of those things. And we’ll see you next time on Moms Moving On.

Thanks, Michelle.