What really causes estrangement between parents and children, and how can you prevent it, especially after divorce?
In this episode of The Moving On Method, host Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with psychotherapist and author Whitney Goodman (aka @sitwithwit) to unpack the nuanced emotional dynamics that lead to parent-child estrangement.
From parentification to narcissistic family systems, Michelle and Whitney explore what it takes to be the safe, emotionally attuned parent your child needs, particularly when co-parenting in a high-conflict situation.
What You’ll Learn:
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Why estrangement is becoming more openly discussed, and what’s actually driving it
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How parentification harms children (even when well-intentioned)
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The critical difference between protecting vs. over-sharing with your child
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How to build emotional safety and connection during divorce or co-parenting
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What “parenting without a roadmap” really means, and how to do it with confidence
Episode Highlights:
- 03:44 – Is estrangement really on the rise, or are we just talking about it more?
- 08:29 – The difference between abandonment and emotional cutoffs
- 13:52 – Why parents repeat unhealthy dynamics or swing too far in the other direction
- 19:41 – How to avoid parentifying your child during divorce
- 26:35 – “My child is my rock”: When closeness crosses emotional boundaries
- 31:18 – What to say when your child repeats something the other parent said
- 34:50 – Can you be a “safe parent” even if you can’t control the other home?
- 37:11 – Parenting through estrangement fears: What conscious parents need to hear
Meet the Guest:
Whitney Goodman, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Toxic Positivity. Best known for her online presence as @sitwithwit, Whitney helps individuals navigate family estrangement, generational trauma, and emotionally mature parenting through her work at callinghome.co.
Tools, Frameworks, and Concepts Mentioned:
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Parenting Without a Roadmap – Whitney’s emotional navigation model for parents without healthy templates
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Parentification – A breakdown of the emotional role-reversal between parent and child
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Narcissistic Family Systems – Traits and long-term impacts
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Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Oversharing – Why kids need honesty with boundaries
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Safe and Stable Parent Model – A guiding principle for high-conflict parenting
Closing Insight:
“Bad parents don’t worry about being bad parents. Conscious ones do.”
Being afraid your child will resent you one day is a sign you’re already trying to parent with awareness. But trying isn’t enough; you need tools, insight, and support.
Want to learn more?
This in-depth and informative course from Michelle was created to address this topic: How to Safeguard Your Relationship With Your Children When You Have a High-Conflict Ex Spouse: https://community.momsmovingon.com/checkout/how-to-safeguard-your-relationship-with-your-children-when-you-have-a-high-conflict-ex-spouse-course
Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: https://michelledempsey.com/coaching/
Learn more about The Moving On Method® https://michelledempsey.com/shop-courses/
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey
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LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep257-parentification-estrangement
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