Here’s the thing. I didn’t plan on it. But he lived in my mom’s apartment building and a run-in was bound to happen.

And I damn near peed my pants when it did. You see, I was trying to do everything “by the book,” which as I now realize, doesn’t always go as planned.

Our first introduction wasn’t planned at all like I told myself it needed to be. I didn’t give Bella a talk first about meeting Mommy’s special friend, about being polite and friendly, and I didn’t even have a minute to change her very-full diaper first.

I choked. I got super nervous. I convinced myself that he wouldn’t want to be with me because I had a child who had just entered her terrible two’s and his was way older already, and far more independent. Bella was in the midst of an overtired tantrum, I was frazzled, and this was NOT the side of us I wanted him to see for a first impression.

Looking back, I realize how important this less-than-ideal introduction was. It wasn’t fake, setup, or staged – it was REAL. At that moment. Spencer had the option to run head first into a relationship with someone else, but he chose us, messy and tantrum-y and all.

It was important for me to see if he was going to have the kind of chemistry with her that would make him future step-dad material.

It was important for him to see me in mom-mode and accept that I am a mom first, and always will be.

So here is what I would have done differently:

I would have spent far less time worrying that he’d accept Bella and I at this challenging time in our lives, and far more time enjoying it.

And I hope you can, too.

Look, I know introducing new relationships to your kids after divorce can be challenging for a whole host of reasons, but I hope you can cross “will be good enough for him” off your list of worries and realize that the right person will accept you – and your kids – at whatever stage you’re in, no matter what.

For more guidance on this topic, check out this podcast I did with Evelyn of @hatchandbloomco: https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/MHL9491971128?selected=MHL9516020762