I was in session with a client this week, who, after talking about how hurtful and frustrating her ex was during their marriage (and now),
stopped herself and said,

“But I guess maybe I wasn’t so easy to be with. I was really sensitive.”

Now, I’m all for taking personal responsibility. Sure, we all have our flaws. But if the marriage was too painfuI to stay in, caused you years of agony, and made you cry more than you smiled – you have to ease up on yourself.

I could have been better at a lot of things in my first marriage – but being better at them wouldn’t have changed the outcome, you see?

That’s why it’s really important to be careful about the story you tell yourself when it comes to your divorce. The story you tell yourself becomes your reality – almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As moms, it’s normal to take on unnecessary guilt. We feel responsible for so many around us, that when things go wrong, we naturally make ourselves responsible.

But you can’t do this with your divorce. Especially if you are divorcing someone who has been emotionally abusive and/or manipulative, who has terrorized you with their gaslighting and projections, and who has made you feel less-than when you are everything and more.

Here’s a great video to watch – and after you watch – try jotting down a few lines of how you are changing the story you’re telling yourself. I’d love to hear it!