One of my March workshop attendees sent me a beautiful email yesterday.

She wrote,

“Thank you so much for creating these workshops. The community makes me feel much less alone and I’m learning so much from you. I guess at the end of the day all I think about is, “Will it all be okay?

Reading this question stopped me in my tracks. I instantly got a flashback to my life four years ago, sitting alone in my new apartment while Bella slept, wondering the same. exact. thing. 

I remember googling the question, desperate to find something, somewhere, that would reassure me and make me feel better about the life that lay ahead.

And here’s what I found…

There is no one thing that can make you feel better when you’re stuck with the worries of what will lie ahead. 

There is no oracle or magic lamp you can rub for a guarantee.

There is only what is inside of you – courage, determination, and strength – and a willingness to be brave and choose happiness each and every day.

It’s in making that choice to choose bravery, to commit to wanting to be happy, that you realize any situation can be okay. 

When you’re getting stuck in the hole of wondering whether or not you’ll be okay, here are my 3 tricks to pull yourself out of it and shift your perspective:

1. Start Writing
Instead of worrying and wondering, grab a pen and a journal and make a list of what you want you life to be once you move past the pain of your divorce. How do you want it to look? Feel? Who is a part of it? Getting these thoughts out will help you stay positive and focused and take your brain away from the worries.

2. Ask Yourself What Your Version of OKAY Looks Like
Everyone has a different version of “okay”. For me, my “okay” was refusing to settle for relationships that made me feel pain. It meant finally accepting my flaws, my body, and loving myself for who I was. It had nothing to do with finding another partner (though that happened eventually and it was a nice suprise!) and everything to do with how I wanted to feel.

3. Quiet Out the Noise
Friends and family alike will ask things that can trigger your worries of the future. They’ll ask if you want to start dating again and when. They’ll ask about your financial situation and if you plan on going back to work. They’ll get personal on a level that is triggering. Remember that this is your journey and no one else’s – your version of okay doesn’t have to look like theirs.

Remember, if you’re not feeling okay right now, that your today is not your forever. There is no race to the finish line here, but, at the end of the day, your “okay” lies solely inside of you.

xx,
Michelle